I'm special!!!

Haha... by that, I mean this: I swear I have A.D.D. and maybe even a little touch of $@#$!*& tourettes! Possibly a little bipolar disorder, too... isn't that sweet? DANG IT ALL!!

hahahahaha

I just had to get that out! Do we truly not know ourselves better than any doctor or professional might? Sure, they are familiar with the symptoms, but I am self-diagnosing---as "unfamiliar" with or "uneducated" on the subject as I may be.

a.d.d.
All day long, I find myself with a serious inability to focus in on any one thing, unless it is something like this--writing--or something entertaining or physically constructive, some project I can see a beginning and an end for right in front of my eyes. Even then, I find my mind wandering, I'll turn away and be distracted, or I'll even lose interest in entertainment and fall asleep! (That's usually only if I'm already familiar with it, like watching a movie for the umpteenth time.)

I think it's really starting to screw with me when it comes to working in an office, at a desk, doing routine and mundane tasks... but I keep doing what I can to do it anyway because it pays the bills. And with school... oh dang... I just won't even go down that path. Not until after next Friday, at least. I mean, I seriously need to be wrapping up this paper on Strategic Leadership so I can start reading my textbooks in preparation for my big honkin' exam, but I'd rather vent my feelings in my blog. ADD? Yeah, I think so.

tourettes
Now, I think my touch of this one is minor... nevertheless, it's there. I don't @$%&^#$ doubt it! Even if it's mainly inside my head. It's not often that I spout off a chain of profanity in an uncontrolled matter. (The first three words are key in that last sentence.) But by golly, connected to the above diagnosis, it'll all catch up to me sometimes, and eventhough I may not manifest it out loud, sometimes that chain of boiling cuss words is just burning inside. Awful! I know.

bi-polar?
I know this one is a chemical thing determined by genetics... and I know it is not absent in mine. I have never taken any medications for it, and I don't think mine is a very severe case, but I do believe I have a touch of bpd. How else can I go from being unpredictably kind and loving to equally unpredictably angry and pissed off??

Okay. I wish I could say that now that I've "admitted" to these things that I felt better. But I don't. So I'll end this entry now ... oh look, a spider... and get back to my #@^*!%& schoolwork! AAAAAHHHHH!!! Isn't that nice? :)